Take risks with me

As human beings, almost all of us have this defect of wanting to love and be loved, and I have to admit that I'm guilty, too of that.

I just finished reading a trilogy lately, as I have told you in my previous post, and it changed me. Not the type of change you normally feel after attending a three-day retreat that usually lasts only for a week or two. It's the kind of change that makes you realize how much time you've been ignoring and taking for granted the things that are most important.

There was a time in my life when I loved and was loved by someone and back then I thought that I could never be happier. I had someone to talk to from the moment I woke up until I went to bed. I had someone to tell I love you for at least more than five times a day. I had someone to call, to laugh with and to cry on to anytime. Someone who understood me and listened to me every time. Then I lost that someone, and it felt like it was the end.

It didn't feel nice to be alone, to have no one to love, to have no one to text good morning and good night every time. I always had a hard time getting out of bed during the first few weeks. All I wanted to do during those times were to sleep and listen to sad music.....which made everything worse. I think that's what most people do when they're hurt - they try to hurt themselves more. They want to feel the pain so that they could cry it out of their systems because it numbs them a little. I cried, too, of course. I cried when I had the chance to cry without anybody seeing me or telling me that they told me so. I cried before I went to bed, after waking up, and while taking a bath. I cried on the dining table and in church. I cried and cried until I got tired of it and then came one morning, I woke up and felt that I was happy, even if I poured my heart out the night before. I felt happy and I knew I was.

It's never easy losing someone, but there's always something to be thankful for in everything bad that happens to us. I'm thankful that I lost that someone way back then. Back when the reasons were still too immature and shallow, and now I'm seriously laughing at myself for being over-dramatic. I was so young and in-love but I'm glad that I experienced it - that young love thing. Now, I can proudly say that I was wrong then for loving only the the people around me. I was wrong for loving only the people and the things that I thought were the most important. I was selfish two years ago for having loved only the people who I thought loved me back and the things that I thought I needed the most.

The book I read was all about love. It was set few years in the future in a dystopian world where love is considered a disease. The people see love as something harmful and that they have managed to create a cure for it so that they wouldn't be able to feel it any more. They would not be able to love and to hate anything or anyone. Some people might like the idea of it but it's a lot of peoples worst nightmare - a world without love.

Now that I've been happily single for a long amount of time, I think I'll be staying like this for a lot more years. Not being stuck with someone has changed my feelings and attitude towards almost everything. I used to think about my marriage all the time, thought about my children's names and where we'll live. I was a bit pathetic back then but it's all part of growing up I guess. Now that I've learned to become more independent, I don't usually think of planning my "romantic future" that much. One friend of mine told me that it'll come at the right time and moment, you have to stop looking for it 'cause that'll only higher the chances that who you found isn't the right one. You just have to wait and wait and I've put her advice to heart. Not being in a relationship has helped me think clearly and realize all the things that I have done wrong and the things that I should be doing instead. It helps you know your priorities and appreciate the world around you, the things you have and the people who love you. It'll even change your perspective about love itself, in a good way, of course.

Lately, I've learned to love a lot of things, ideas, people and I always keep falling in love with them. I tried to listen to different genres of music and books (you know...broadening my horizons) and I found out that I had different interests, too. I watched a lot of series - funny ones, detective stories, medically-related ones and I enjoyed most of them. Because of that, I've come to know myself even more. I now have an idea of my likes and dislikes and I'm a lot more confident now. I tried meeting new people and maintained a good relationship with them. I started to value everything I had before I even lose them.

Now for this love thing, nobody ever said that love should only be felt between two human beings. You can choose to love whoever and whatever you want to and I'm telling you now that nothing's wrong with that. Nothing's also wrong with loving too much, walang mawawala sa 'yo pag nagmahal ka ng sobra. You'll be blessed a lot more for loving more. According to The Beatles, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make". You will get the love you deserve, always remember that. Also, you'll never run out of love, it's impossible, so give love to others even if they hurt you because it is the right thing to do and I swear from experience that it'll make you feel a lot better. Don't fight anger with anger instead fight anger with love.

And another thing, don't stress too much about looking for your Mr. or Ms. Right because they're just around the corner. Six degrees of separation remember? God has everything planned for all of us, especially you! Don't look for love if you can give it. There are a lot of things and people in this world who need your love today more than your special someone.

Just think of it this way... right now that you don't have someone to give your heart to, God or even the universe has given you the chance to share your heart to someone else. This is the time that you give back what you have received for it will always be replaced by something much better than what you deserve. There may be times when giving and sharing love to others will be hard but take that as a challenge to make yourself better. Use this time to love and understand yourself more. Use this time to take risks and discover new ideas. Take this time to do whatever it is that you want to do as long as you're not stepping on anybody (figuratively.. and literally).

And if you have someone special now, you should be thankful. There are a lot of people out there who are longing to have what you have. Sometimes it may feel like it's not right, like there something wrong and when that happens, breathe and get out of your room. Be alone for a while and take time to appreciate everything that you have. Think about all your blessings and make yourself happy. Smile, listen to music and put the volume up. When you're happy, that's when you try to think about what's wrong. Don't let your emotions take over, you will regret it. Chill out and love. Whatever decision you make, do it for you, not for anyone or anything else. Just remember that if it's for you then it's for you but if it's not then.. let it be. God has better plans for you and your love.

Love is all around. So feel and embrace it.

Let it flow through every part of your soul.

Don't overthink.

Hug people.

Hug yourself.

Tell everyone you love them.

Tell yourself, "I love you" for you should.

Say "I love you" out loud.

Put yourself out there.

Take risks this time.

Take risks with me.









Thank you for a year of happiness and warmth! More years to come! Love you all!

Kaye XXXXXOOOOOXOXOXOXOXO

Stuff I Need to Buy for 2013

I've been saving up money for some of the things that I'll have to buy myself. My parents don't approve of buying me stuff that I don't really need and I understand that which is why I usually buy and pay for my own things.....like my phone. Anyway, here's a list of the stuff that I plan to buy before this year ends!

1. 1 TB or 500 GB Western Digital Hard Drive

PRICE: PHP 3,000.00 - 4,000.00 (depending on the memory)

I really need this. I don't want my laptop's memory full because it'll just slow it down. Plus, I have tons of songs and TV series!! I need to store all of them somewhere, they're too precious.

2. White Keds Champion Sneakers

PRICE: PHP 1,700.00 - 2,000.00

I love Keds and they're beautiful! have one in teal and one in all-black and I just need to have them in white!!!

3. MAC Matte Lipstick  in Ruby Woo

PRICE: ± PHP 1, 000.00

I am in love with lippies! Lip balms, lip sticks, lip creams.. anything 'cause it's the only type of make up that I know how to apply. Red lipsticks are my weakness and I do my best to buy the reds that I like the most. I found out about MAC's Lippie in Ruby Woo when I was looking through my favorite fashion blogger's article and it looked beautiful I just had to own one!

4. Instax Mini 8 Camera (Black of White)

PRICE: PHP 4,700.00 - 5, 000.00

I've always wanted a polaroid camera but my parents won't buy me one, so I'm buying one for myself instead! I know that a polaroid camera isn't really cheap but it makes each photograph special..you know, the thrill of waiting for it to show up after it goes out of the camera. I think it's special.

5. Waffle Maker

PRICE: PHP 1, 000.00 - 2, 000.00

Waffles are one of my favorite comfort foods and I want to wake up every morning knowing that I can easily whip up one with my very own waffle maker. I'm not really a good cook but I'm pretty sure I can make my own waffle..."safely" with this.


HAHAHA so there's my list. Here's to hoping that I get to buy all of them! I'll update you guys each time I get to buy any of the five. What about you guys? Do you have lists, too? :-) Good evening!!!

Kaye xxx

oops

I'm so sorry guys but I think I won't be able to post about the Bataan trip because the blasted SD card got corrupted. I feel so sad right 'cause the place is breathtaking! You guys should've seen it. But I'll still do my best to try to recover the pictures, I just don't know if that's even possible. :-( Love you all!

I hate breaking my promises. :-(

Here I go again!

Hi guys!! It's been a long time since I made my last ukulele cover showing my face =)) I needed to catch my breath before I start studying again, so I did a cover of Brave by Sara Bareilles!

Please watch it if you the time! Thanks so much! 

Kaye xx

Poems that helped me throughout college

I’m very fond of reading literature (not counting academic books, I find those difficult to read HAHAHA especially when I’m not interested in the subject matter). Since I was in grade school, I’ve been reading a lot of books from the classics to the most recent ones. Some of my favorite authors are Jane Austen, Lauren Olive, J.K. Rowling, Chuck Palahniuk, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and a lot of other great authors! But of course, I didn’t only read books, I also read poems. Lots of them. I even managed to remember a few of my favorites - the ones that had a very huge impact on me and I’d like to share some of my favorite lines from my favorite poems to all of you.

1. How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barret Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

2. Invictus by William Ernest Henley

It matters not how straight the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul.

3. Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

4. i carry your heart with me by E.E. Cummings

i carry you heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

5. O Captain! My Captain! by Whalt Whitman

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;

Bum Life Indeed

Bum. What’s a bum? Well if you haven’t an idea what it is, I’ll give you an overview.

According to my laptop’s dictionary:

Well, that hurts...

I don’t want to be mean but my roomie is one heck of a bum. She quit her job just months ago just because she had a row with the people in her office...and that she wants to rest? She's quit her job for two consecutive times now and didn’t even last a year in both. I don’t know what’s going on with her or if she’s experiencing problems at home. When I ask whether she wants to apply to another job all she says is that “Yeah, I will. After a few months.” Now she's broke because she just bought a new laptop (care of her mom). She still asks money from her parents because as I have said, she doesn’t have a job to provide all her wants and needs... and she's got a WHOLE LOT OF WANTS and I find this quite annoying.

Okay, I know that I’m talking way ahead of myself. I’m just a student and I haven’t experienced working yet but I want to, though. I want to work already so that I can take my parents anywhere they want. I want to show them that all the money that they had spent on me was worth it. I don’t want to put all their hard work to waste. I want to make my parents proud and happy. I don’t want to be a bum. Yes, I haven’t experienced working but I’ve seen my parents work and I'm pretty sure they aren't bums. They try to finish a lot of things as much as they can so that they can earn enough money to provide for our needs. I know it’s wrong to compare my parents to my room mate since my room mate doesn’t have a family yet but still, by now she should at least try to plan out the things that she’ll be needing by that time that she gets her own family. In my opinion, I think that once you’re already capable of working, you shouldn’t ALWAYS ask for food allowance from your parents (well, maybe if you’re still kind of new to working), it's just not right. You should be the one treating them into restaurants and taking them somewhere else that they’ve always wanted to go, and even if you can't afford the most luxurious type of way to treat you parents, just taking them out for dinner at you family's favorite restaurant would easily put a smile on their faces. And I'm pretty sure it'll warm your heart.

Going back.

Now she’s here in our dorm, lying on her bed and sleeping again. For Pete’s sake, how does one sleep for more than 10 hours a day? That’s too much. More than 8 hours of sleep is not even healthy for a normal person. I get headaches and migraines whenever I sleep for more than 7 hours. I can’t just lie down all day and do nothing but scroll my way down to the very last of my Facebook new feed or my Twitter timeline. That would suck big time, man. It’s such a waste of life.

I for one am not planning to be a bum and even if I wanted to, I think I’d be having a hard time being one. I'd rather be the one who works and makes a change than to be someone who does not work and just waits for the change to happen.

Stuck inside

It’s been raining since Friday night and it’s not getting better. I’m pretty safe here in my dormitory and I’m quite sure that my family at home is, too since we don’t get much flood there. Of course, due to the weather there are no classes today and the sad thing about it is that I can’t go out. It’s impossible to watch a movie, or eat somewhere with my friends because of the situation outside. The rain’s pouring harder than ever and the wind is super strong, there might even pieces of wood or shards of glass going around. I hope it stops as soon as possible, though. It’s not fun to see people being stranded outside vulnerable to almost everything. I’m worried for the stray animals without shelter and for the depressed men and women without homes. The government should do something about that.

Well as you can see, I’m blogging now because I have none to do. I’ve finished my lab reports and I don’t have exams this week (I all took them last week). Some people would probably suggest that I advanced study but that’s not really my thing and it doesn’t work well for me. I easily forget the things I have studied and that's the reason why I prefer studying 2-3 days before only. I don’t want to be a crammer and a procrastinator but it’s what works best for me… I think.

It’s dark here in my dorm because we’re sort of inside a building and I like it. It lies about the world outside. You won’t know what time it is or if there’s still daylight on the streets. I feel safe and secure when I’m inside but it makes me feel ignorant as well. All my roomies are here with me also surfing away with their laptops ‘cause we have nothing else to do. We all have mugs on our table filled with chocolate-flavored Nesquik, we’re like a family living in our own home.

Geez, I’m hungry. Wish there was some way to get to CBTL, I’m craving for their spicy tuna pasta. Maybe I’ll check later if I can go there. Anyway, what’s up with you guys? How’s the weather in your place? If it’s as bad as it is here please do your best to stay warm. Remember to charge all your gadgets while there’s still electricity because I have this feeling that it’s going to be cut off later.

Stay indoors and enjoy this time with your families! Wear sweatshirts and drink chocolate milk. Give time to love and be loved. Take care everyone!


Kaye x

why i love my family

What a rainy Sunday! Too bad we couldn't spend it outside 'cause we were all too lazy to go out of the house. It's very gloomy but we still tried to have fun. :-)

That's me with my dad and my uncle!

Going chipmunk with my favorite uncle hihi

With mothergoose!

throwing a few frog faces here and there...

it is just me or does my mom look like an angry gremlin? hahaha

With my mom and my uncle!

Don't we look gorgeous?

But of course, my mom and I managed to snap some decent-looking ones..

Then I took a few snaps of myself.. you know... just making sure that the camera's working properly..

Sorry for the vanity!!! HAHAHAHA i love all of you!

Kaye xxx

Psyched

Good afternoon, friends!!! It's been raining all day and I don't like it. :-( Rain makes me feel bad sometimes but I don't know how and why. Anyway, I have to share something to all of you guys - my blog's first anniversary is near!!! Woohooo which is why I put some sort of counter thingamajig to update you guys when it'll be. I don't what I'm gonna do yet on that day but I'll really really try to do something for all of us.

My blog's anniversary is going to be celebrated on the day when I made my first ever blog post and that is on the 28th of August. I'm so excited for this 'cause I'll be doing this for the first time and I literally have no idea what people usually do on their blog's anniversary. I'll try to research around and I guess all of you will just have to wait and see.

I'm so psyched!!! Hope all of you are having a mighty fine day. Stay warm and stay in!

Kaye x

dinner is always a good idea

Last July 29, my friends and I went to EDSA Shang for dinner. It was only supposed to be a barkada dinner but since our friend just recently celebrated her birthday, she spotted for us all. We couldn't believe it, of course, since it was to expensive but then again, who wouldn't want to eat in a buffet for free? Right?

We went to HEAT that night, a buffet restaurant which normally charges around PHP1,500 - PHP1,600 per person but since there was a promo for groups of five and up, we only had to pay half the regular price. It was still expensive but it's better than paying more.... Do I sound like a cheapskate to you? HAHAHA

We didn't take photos of the food though 'cause we thought that it was too...that's the job of the people in Instagram. HAHAHAH Our job was to eat, and devour and laugh and eat until we couldn't eat anymore. We were almost complete that night except for one who had a birthday dinner for his granddad. He totally missed a lot but that didn't stop us from taking photos of ourselves, of course. It was a special day and it was an obligation to take photos. We rarely take photos so please understand the sudden dash of vanity you're about to see.

Almost 3 years of friendship and still counting!!!! Can't even wait for the dinners when we're all working already. HAHAHA

My favorite set of girls. No dramas and anything, just love. That's why I love them. We were a bit under-dressed for Shang though. 

This is Mia and she is one of people I love the most!!!! Look, her braces are gone! 

With the birthday celebrant, Kat. She owns that polaroid the we used, and I'm very thankful for having her as a friend. Oh, I can see my tonsils from hee...

This is Theo and he looks high here but he really isn't. I love this picture though 'cause it looks really funny. 

My friends and I love food so much and I think that that's what brought all of us together. I'm very thankful that God has given me friends like these people. I also like the idea that we are able to have fun together without letting alcohol enter our systems. Although we do get high on life, and between you and me, I think that it's the best type of high.

More dinners to come, friends! I love you guys forever!

Kaye xxx

Friday, no classes

If you guys have read my previous blog post then by now I'm sure that you know how bad I am with time management. HAHAHAH. It's been more than a week since our trip to Bataan but still I haven't posted anything about it except for that one picture down there. I'm terribly sorry but I swear I'll do my best to blog about it soon.... I just don't know when. Stay tuned! HAHAHA

Well, I've been very very very busy with schoolwork lately now that I'm a college junior. Less than 2 years then hopefully I'll be off to med school!! Woohoo, wish me luck guys. And I wish all of you guys the same, too! But can I just share how difficult it is to be a student? There are times when my brain just completely shuts down and all it makes me want to do is play my ukulele, read something and sleep. 

I've been reading a lot lately (and spending a LOT also, of course...books aren't cheap) and there's this certain trilogy that has changed a bit of perception about the world and it's made me feel more appreciative about everything I have and don't have but I don't want to share it with you guys yet 'cause I want all of you to guess. I think I know what you're thinking and let me tell you now that... IT'S NOT 50 SHADES OF GREY! Porket trilogy..kayo ha. Just kidding hihi.

Also, I've been watching a lot of series and my favorite one has got to be Sherlock!!! I love Benedict Cumberbatch!!! You guys should watch it especially if you're into crime and detective stories. It's the most wonderful thing that has every happened to my series life....so far.

So.... That's all I can say for now. I've got tons to do and stuff to write!

Kaye xxx